Thoughts on True Love

By Judith Kusel

​True Love is not something that just happens: - it is something that grows.
The first seeds of love are sown when we meet each other.  Especially with Twin Flames, there is a deep soul reconnection, as eyes meet eyes.  For the eyes are the windows to the soul, and inherently those eyes and the face will more or less stay the same through many lifetimes, parallel lives and Universes.  Even one’s true soul self has more or less the same face in its Light body form, just more ethereal and refined.  Essentially we stay the same as we were created to be and become.
Unfortunately romance novels and romantic expectation often trip up potential partnership and existing ones for here one builds unrealistic expectations.
When I was Librarian I often used to joke about this saying that one day I will write these novels, which most women devour. It was a matter of Cinderella meeting her Prince – who of course was tall, dark and handsome – but don’t leave out the very wealthy part…. More like a multimillionaire, who owns private jets, yachts, etc.  He was the closest to Mr. Perfect you can conjure up.   Then a type of female stepsister/bitch/tragedy would try to put a spanner in wheel.   After some trials and tribulations they find their way back to each other and live happily ever after (at least that is where the story ends, yet in real life that is when all the drama but starts, when the Princess suddenly realizes that Prince has turned into a frog …..)
Indeed the Bestselling British romance author Barbara Cartland had a strict formula that she used for her romances, and not one was more than 5000 words.  Yet she, herself was married more than one time.  The same goes for Danielle Steele (perhaps one of the most loved romantic authors) whose own life after a number of husbands, reads like one of own novels.  The last time I read about her she was with husband number 8.
A friend of mine who is a marriage counselor, once told me that he thinks the greatest break up of marriages occur because of women reading too many romantic novels and not doing a reality check.
This is not to find the right or wrong – I loved reading them myself when I was a teenager – but rather to understand that as with all of life, love will always lead one back to oneself, and all within that is not loved nor resolved.
The fact is, after the first period of love and roses, suddenly the flawless lovers’ flaws start to appear and with it all the buttons get pushed we never knew we had.  All of a sudden what used to fascinate us about the other, become the greatest irritations.
Some go into marriage with the idea that they will be able to change the partner.  I have heard so many of my own girlfriends say that, where they had someone with addiction problems, and then saying:  “Oh all of that will change for sure after we marry.”   That illusion was soon scattered for the truth is that you cannot change on hair on another person, nor anything about them, you can only change yourself. 
I personally found when I met my Twin, that I did not quite know what had hit me.  All my own insecurities, and my own fears came up with a bang, and he seemed to push every single button I never knew I had.  I ran away, because I could not handle his energy.
It took me some time to understand that I needed to work on myself, and heal deep within, before I could truly love myself, and then, by doing my own inner work, something deep inside me shifted.  Now I can love in a far deeper and more profound manner, and when my buttons do get pushed, I tend to get over this more quickly and immediately set out to do the inner work.  With doing the inner work, my heart stays open and with it love deepens.  Love has found a new way to express itself, by no means perfect, but in a way I could never love before.  It is a type of expanded growing awareness of the depth, the profundity of love.  It is ever expanding me in one way or another, and with it teaching me immense lessons in the infinite cosmic possibilities of loving even more.
True love is something that grows when one is willing to truly do the inner work: work through all those insecurities, all the false programming that we have had via our parents, for most of the relating we somehow received via our parents.  After all they were our earliest role models, in one way or the other.    More than this, it’s the false expectations, the false ideas of how the other should act, be, become, or the way we perceive their actions or inactions were detrimental to us that mostly lead to pain and discord in any relationship.
 When we finally see the truth, these illusions dissolve, the heart opens up, and one can at last stand in a true state of Grace and Gratitude and say:  “Thank you!  I love you!”
True love, has at its core the word: TRUTH. 
The naked truth stands in there anchored in the higher state of Love – pure unconditional love.  Love without expectations.
It is easier to see the flaws, the shadows, the imperfections in the Divine Other: - than to see this within ourselves. 
It is easy to take one’s clothes off and stand naked, but it takes guts to stand naked, and vulnerable, cleaved open to the very core of your soul and speak the TRUTH with a partner…. To share what is there INSIDE of you and to do so openly and honestly and not shrink away from that. 
For deep down we all fear rejection.  We fear that our partner will see more flaws inside our self than we see in there, because of deep-rooted beliefs about not being WORTHY of love or being loved.  We believe that we are unlovable.  Yet, if you believe deep down that you are unworthy of love, and you do not love yourself, reject yourself at some level, then how can you expect the other soul to love you as you are? 
When one finds the deep and profound soul moments, when the heart and soul open to the very core and one stands there naked in truth, a much deeper and profound connection occurs.  Now all the illusions have gone, all the masks, all the personas, all the mind chatter.  The heart has opened up.  The soul has opened up. And now, at last: 
Soul can meet soul. 
Heart can meet heart.
Higher mind can meet higher mind.
Higher emotional body can meet higher emotional body.
Higher physical body can meet higher physical body.
For all is ONE.
And then, amidst the tears of recognition that there is only love – union becomes a deep ONENESS.  All else has disappeared.  True love finally emerges, and can blossom forth into expanded BEINGNESS.
Deep bonding now occurs.  Deeper than ever before, for now one is starting to energetically align to the highest truth of both souls, and that of the higher mind, the heart energies intertwine.
Essentially this is what true love is about.
When such deep bonds are forged, then no matter what life brings, one will somehow always find a way towards that state through both support and challenge. 
I remember when my parents had their Golden Wedding Anniversary; how my uncle said that they were a shining example of two people who through the greatest challenges, the greatest adversities, stayed together.  And indeed it was so.  They had more than their own fair share of crosses to bear, but when the chips were down, they were there for each other.  This does not say that they had the perfect marriage: - indeed not. 
My mother once told me that there were times when she truly thought of leaving my father.  However then she found that deep down the love she had for him would come to the fore in some way, and with it the love for her children.  Within it then that love showed itself that when my father was lost to us, with Alzheimer’s disease, every single day my mother would insist that my sister or I take her to him, and she would sit there with him no matter what, even when he could not even remember who she was.  Such is the love of a woman.
Perhaps we never know to what greater levels of love we are capable of giving and receiving, until we have no other option left but to love and allow ourselves to be loved. 
For love loves where it wills.
It does not respect boundaries, nor fortresses built around the heart.
It does not ask if you are very rich, nor poor.
It does not have expectations.
It does not look at your long pedigree, nor how many degrees you have, nor how much status you have, even how lowly you are, now how much you have done or not done – nor where you live, or not live, even if you live on the street, love will find you in some way.
Soul who once loved, loves eternally.
For love was birthed in eternity and continues ad infinitum.
It can never dry up.
It cannot be turned on and off like a tap.
Love makes fools of those who think they can control any outcomes.
It makes fun of long lists of expectations, and long formulas for finding Mr. or Ms. Right.  It will bring the soul into your life who is JUST RIGHT FOR YOU – indeed tailor made for you and the soul lessons you have to master!
More than this, if souls are meant to work together for the greater good of mankind, then love will knit them together, in some way or another, for love will always find ways where human beings cannot.  For the souls agreed to do this work even before they were born.
Such is the ultimate power of love.

Judith Kussel