In other words, when you focus upon the problems of others, you diminish your ability to help them. People believe that you've got to focus upon the problem in order to find a solution. And we say, no solution ever comes forth - it's never inspired; you never recognize it, and you are never able to facilitate or achieve it - from your place of focusing on the problem. They are two entirely different vibrations. If you have someone who has many things going wrong and one thing going right, beat the drum of what's going right, and let that be your point of attraction. If you focus upon their problems, you achieve vibrational harmony with something other than the Source that gives you solution.
---Abraham, Ester & Jerry Hicks
You never want to go down that same old path of negativity, despair, angers & more -it's a slippery slope & treacherous trail that can re-entangle you sapping all your energy...
I have a friend who always loves to rehash old problems with a long-winded story. It's very hard to interupt the story & it is done in the vein of looking for a solution, but I feel such an energy drain. He's learning about the ego & learning about spirituality so it's worthwhile to help, but sometimes I can see that he's getting quite stubborn with his "story". My suggestion has always been to focus on the love to find the solutions, & whenever we go there we gain more insight into his situations. There are a couple of lessons here.
You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. Sometimes it may take a little time & it's better to leave your suggestions (assuming they've asked for help) & let them go for a time - let them sit with the ideas for a time until it gets through. When something is done with real love it always has an effect - love always prevails.
Another thing to be aware of is the aspect of two sides to every coin - very often someone can be presented in your circles as something of a mirror for you to see yourself through their situation. You quite likely have attracted something not only that you could help them with, but it may also be to help you recognize something within yourself that needs changing. Either way, love is the reason & the solution.